Hello sunshine!
Do you sometimes think that you are not good enough? Do you doubt yourself? Do you feel powerless? You are not alone. In our highly competitive society it is easy to question ourselves. In fact, we are so used to building confidence by comparing ourselves to others that we tend to lose focus. We forget that confidence starts and finishes within ourselves. But what is confidence?
If we look for the word “confidence” in the dictionary we have the following definition:
“1. a : a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances
b : faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way”
Confidence is all about you! And I would like to help you in this journey, so today I am sharing with you some tips to boost your confidence.
1. Quiet your inner critic
There is a voice inside our heads that is the voice of self-doubt. According to Tara Mohr, in her book Playing Big, the inner critic is characterized by eleven qualities such as saying harsh things to you, telling that “you aren´t ready yet” or considering you either the best or the worst (black and white kind of thinking). So, what can you do to quiet your inner critic? Tara Mohr gives a few tips:
- Separate the “I” from the inner critic (e.g., it is not you talking harsh things to yourself, but the inner critic)
- Clearly label your inner critic, so when you hear it speaking say to yourself “oh, it is my inner critic talking”
- Try to understand the inner critic´s motives (e.g., what it is protecting you from and then thank the inner critic´s for its concerns, but assure that everything is alright)
2. Practice power poses
Both humans and animals express power through their bodies, according to the social psychologist Amy Cuddy. In her Ted Talk she explains that when someone is feeling powerful he/she tends to open up, make himself/herself big (for example stretching up, taking up space). However, when feeling powerless a person will do exactly the opposite. He/she will close up, making himself/herself small. According to the expert, our bodies change our minds and we can do this by simply practicing power poses. Why? Power poses will increase our testosterone levels and decrease our cortisol levels, two common characteristics among powerful and effective leaders. So next time you need to play big (e.g., you have a work interview or a public speaking event) try doing before a power pose for two minutes and see your confidence levels boost!
3. Do mirror work
Confidence and self-esteem are interrelated. As I wrote in a previous post, mirror work by Louise Hay is a powerful technique. My advice is for you to do mirror work first thing in the morning and throughout the day as well if you have the chance. Look at yourself in the mirror and say “I love you so much, [your name].” Do this every day and you will start looking at yourself in a different way.
4. Get surrounded by people who support you
You need to spend time with people who encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Avoid being with people who are always criticizing you or putting you down. If you have a friend who is like this, maybe you should rethink the purpose of this friendship. It might be doing you more harm than good. In case it is a family member, you might not be able to avoid him/her, but you can (and you should) set boundaries.
How are your confidence levels these days?
Happy living,
Natacha